Teach Girls To Be Brave

I recently came across this Ted Talk from two years ago delivered by Reshma Saujani. She highlights the confidence level difference between young boys and girls and the importance of risk taking.

When people ask why we need feminism in the 21st century, this is one of the reasons. Women are capable, but we do not always believe that we are.  I find this especially true with young black and brown girls. We’ve been conditioned from an early age that success is not in our future, that we should stay in certain fields, that we are only care takers and nurturers, not engineers and scientists. We should give up. We shouldn’t be so aggressive.

I think about how many classes I didn’t take in college because I was scared. Or all the jobs I haven’t applied for because I didn’t feel qualified, when I probably was more qualified than the male applicants. We have to teach girls to be brave from an early age. We are missing out on an ocean of potential changemakers and innovators.

Watch the video and let me know what you think.

Last Week You Said That Men Are Trash and Now You Got a Man: Dismantling the patriarchy in a healthy and loving relationship

Your resident expert in f**kboy-ology got a man. Yup. You heard right. I left the life of sleeping diagonal and an unwaxed body for cuddles and emotional support.

And let me just say, it’s not that bad. Correction. It’s pretty great. I always have someone to go to the movies with, someone who listens to me bemoan the troubles of my day, and someone who ignites a fiery passion in me that is just too explicit to discuss on this blog.

If you’ve been following along with me on my dating journey, you will know that I have not had the best luck with men. I have a zero tolerance for the absolute f**kery that men (and those who uphold and support said f**kery of men) put us through.

I am a feminist in every sense of the word. A womanist truly. And the guys I’ve dated have not supported or been good representatives of my beliefs and values and as such, I’ve projected those past traumas onto potential boyfriends.

And that’s just not healthy at all.

Yeah, keeping a guard up at all times will keep you protected. But it doesn’t allow any opportunity to be truly loved by another person.

But let’s face it . The patriarchy is not in retrograde. And the performance of toxic masculinity is at an all time high.

So what does that mean for the dating scene?

Should you commit to a life of abstinence and lock yourself away in a tower waiting for an unproblematic Prince Charming?

No. Please don’t do that. That sounds depressing.

Continue to date and be open to love, but remember your worth. Be transparent about your values. And don’t sacrifice parts of  yourself because you think, “Well, damn. This is as good as it’s gonna get.”

There are men who have ditched their macho man facades and are comfortable in their own masculinity and are not threatened because you’re comfortable in your femininity.

23 Thoughts I Had Today (complete with links for your visual pleasure)

  1. I wonder what it’s like to be an only child.
  2. Rory should have never broken up with Dean. Jess ruined her life.
  3. My dog has no respect for me.
  4. Tinder in Vegas sucks. Stop with the gym selfie. I get it. You work out.
  5. You never see anyone have left over oatmeal. That would be kinda gross.
  6. It’s so hot. I’m not cut out for the desert.
  7. I shouldn’t have eaten leftover oatmeal. I don’t feel so good.
  8. I don’t like the new set up of this Target. Where is the Shea Moisture? I need my Shea.
  9. The Mandela effect is real.
  10. I just need to get rich really quick and 60% of my problems will be solved.
  11. Ew. Why is Sallie Mae sending me letters? I just graduated. Chill.
  12. Should I eat the 4th slice of pizza…. yeah.
  13. I spend so much money at Target. My skin doesn’t need to be moisturized. I can be ashy for two weeks.
  14. I have so much student loan debt I could buy a used Tesla.
  15. Ugh. Butterflies are so gross. They’re just glorified moths.
  16. If one more bug crawls on me. I’m gonna lose it.
  17. I really should’ve told off that guy I dated sophomore year. He wasn’t even that cute. 
  18. That weird front bra thing looks pretty cool. All you have to do is pull a string and you can wear backless tops. It probably doesn’t work with big titties though.
  19. Should I shave my legs? I mean I’m not going anywhere… ugh but it feels so nice.
  20. The girl who voiced Tommy on Rugrats was also in Friends. Wow. Her IMDb is impressively long.
  21. It would probably be very hard to learn Turkish on Google Translate.
  22. I spent $30 on a planner I can’t use for 3 months. Was it a waste of money? No. It’s the most beautiful thing ever. I’m such a f*cking adult.
  23. Zac Efron is so freaking sexy. Even when he had a gap in his tooth, he was beautiful.